


for all the wrong reasons

by feygrim



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Character Study, Episode Related, Episode: s02e16 Q Who?, Introspection, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:14:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25242223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feygrim/pseuds/feygrim
Summary: Q reflects on their feelings for Picard while they intervene in the journey of the Enterprise to warn the crew about the imminent danger of the Borg
Relationships: Jean-Luc Picard/Q
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	for all the wrong reasons

**Author's Note:**

> Watching Q so obviously flirt with Picard is maddening and I want them to kiss already

q doesnt understand boundaries.

or really they dont care for them.

they are boundless, a being stretched across the endless universe, born of stardust and cosmos. the inferior beings held themselves to these boundaries, call it rules, laws, a code, whatever, it limited their potential, their own evolution into a higher power. and yet they identified themselves through these rules, as if the rules were instead what pushed their evolution. oh how wrong they were. it was especially exasperating in humans.

then why oh why are they so attracted to such a stuffy, rigid, human like jean-luc picard? this man who challenges them and rejects them with extreme prejudice, walls up in an instant at the sight of them. their first meeting left an impression to say the least. they had set that trial up after watching the enterprise, after watching picard, and they felt something that they have never felt before. a fire set ablaze in them, furious and passionate and hungry. every interaction with picard fed it and it grew hungrier with each meal. 

q realized soon enough that this attraction could not be satisfied with merely the banter, the flirting (only on their side as picard had yet to respond in kind), the debates. they wanted to touch picard. they wanted to do things to picard that the q continuum looked down upon, and damn them for their superiority complex, because while that fire in them burned brighter than any sun, the thought of touching picard, of forcing down those walls, scared them. 

a boundless entity could not, would not, cross this threshold. they caressed the edge of it as much as they could but would never dip a toe past that invisible line. a boundless entity bound to one jean-luc picard.

they leaned in close, closer than they have ever been, and oh, the human ear, what a strange feature and yet with their mouth so close, they found themselves wishing to bite it. the threshold wavered. but it never broke. 

and picard never looked their way anyway, regardless of how close they got. 

q would never admit it but they were jealous of guinan. yes jealous, such a petty human emotion, but they knew that was what they really felt towards the being. she could do what they could not. she could remain on the ship and interact with all the humans as she pleased, including picard. she could even touch him if she so desired, given her role as a listener, as a friend. it made their non-existent blood boil at the thought. their anger at her when they encountered each other, their desire to expose her and make her leave, was fueled by pure jealousy. she could stay but they would always be an uninvited guest. 

sure, they laid down the offer that they would become a member of the ship's crew, and for a second, they imagined it as a reality. to remove themself from the continuum, to face picard on equal terms, to bind themself to the one man, the one human, who could make them reconsider their whole existence. but they shuttered that fantasy down immediately, since they knew it could never happen. the continuum would destroy them before it could happen. a q lowering themselves down to be a human? unspeakable. unthinkable. they could be destroyed for even having these thoughts. 

they were risking a great deal in the first place by helping the enterprise in this way. by informing them of the borg (in their not-so-straightforward, very q way), they were giving them an advantage over their future. they were fudging with the timeline, blurring the lines so the human race would have a fighting chance. 

why? 

  
  


oh who were they kidding? q wasn't an altruistic being. sure, humans intrigued them (pathetic limited creatures who struggled so hard for nothing in the end) but there was one human in particular who they had placed all their bets on. their selfish desire to see jean luc live out their short (so fucking short, what was the point) life to the end. an end that q would see fit that the borg had no hand in bringing about, jean luc deserved that much. they had an even stronger selfish desire to share that life with him. 

they pushed that desire down, deep deep down, as far as it could go in such a vast being as themself. 

jean luc was right after all. they were doing this for the wrong reasons.

**Author's Note:**

> twitter: @that__girl__sam


End file.
